Grand Moff Tarkin for President

Grand Moff Tarkin, the Death Star, and the Presidential Election

The other day I tweeted, “Understand this: YOUR presidential candidate is evil & wrong & I can’t believe you support him/her. Hey! Let’s argue!”

Not one person argued with me. Not one!

This could be because there is hope for civility in America or because people recognize a joke when they see one.  The third possibility is, however, that honest people on both sides of the aisle recognize the terrible truth: Grand Moff Tarkin is their only choice for President, and they aren’t happy about it.

Governor Tarkin is a busy man. He isn’t just holding Vader’s leash, he’s running for President for BOTH PARTIES.

How can this be?

I’m glad you asked.  In Star WarsA New Hope, Grand Moff Tarkin announces to his assembled minions that the Emperor will now start ruling the galaxy using one simple principle:

“Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.”  (That would be the Death Star)

Every time I hear Clinton or Trump speak, every time I hear one of their surrogates speak, the bottom line is, “The OTHER candidate is the Death Star! Fear the Death Star! I am not the Death Star, so vote for me because of Fear Of This Battle Station!”

I’m guessing they keep saying these things because it works for them. And if it’s true that the majority of American voters are, on some level, making their choice by way of Fear Of This Battle Station, it’s no surprise that everything seems so messed up.

What ever are we to do about the Death Star?

There’s hope, so let’s launch a proton torpedo into the exhaust port right above the main port and start the chain reaction that will destroy the Battle Station of Fear. In other words, take a breath and…

Don’t be afraid.

Fear is a crappy way to make decisions.  The Other Candidate might really be a scruffy looking nerf herder.  He or she could well be as bad as you think, but if you’re a Democrat, hey, we survived 20 years of Reagan and the Bushes, and if you’re a Republican, we survived 20 years of Carter, Clinton, and Obama! God will still be God, no matter who gets elected.

Don’t be a jerk.

Really. We don’t like it when the candidates are jerks, so don’t be a jerk to those friends and strangers who inexplicably plan to vote Death Star. If I can’t convince you of that, and you think Death Star voters are truly your enemy, then love your enemy.  Jesus didn’t give us a “get out of loving your enemies free” card for election season.

Don’t exaggerate.

Hyperbole ruins EVERYTHING.  (Irony does not.) While there are truly big, terrible problems with both candidates, the political machines and the news media have their hyperbole in hyper-drive. It just might be that this isn’t The Election That Determines Everything Both Now And Forever.

If, when the election is over, the Bad Candidate wins, remember: The Galaxy Far Far Away survived the Death Star. It also survived the  next, bigger, unfinished Death Star. It even survived the third, planet sized Death Star.

Stay calm.

And don’t be Tarkin.

You didn’t receive a spirit of slavery to lead you back again into fear, but you received a Spirit that shows you are adopted as his children. With this Spirit, we cry, “Abba, Father.”  – Romans 8:15

See? We can all get along!
See? We CAN all get along!
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