Candidates are declaring their White House intentions, so soon we will be learning from each candidate how every other candidate is one of the Four Horsepersons of the Apocalypse. I’m not looking forward to that.
It will take some cooperation from Ted Cruz and Hillary Clinton, but I have a multi-partisan solution that will end all the fighting.
Think about it. According to the 1989 documentary, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Bill and Ted’s music helps bring an end to war and poverty, aligns the planets, and enables meaningful contact with all forms of life from extra terrestrials to common household pets.
If Bill and Ted can do all that, think what Hill and Ted could accomplish!
Now, of course, to be completely multi-partisan, Hill & Ted will have to be the first Co-Presidents, but it’ll be worth it. The partisan bickering of 300 million people will cease and will be carried out exclusively within the walls of the Oval Office. During their frequent recesses, Congress members will actually have recess outside together. Supreme Court justices will live in harmony and trade in their solemn black robes for gentle, complimentary pastels. All taxation shall cease. Or increase. (We dare not hope too much)
Anyway, never mind the details. Hill & Ted need your help!
Please contribute your most triumphant multi-partisan slogan below.